My Colors

Wouldn’t it be so nice to just be ONE color? ONE version of you? Hear ONE voice speaking your words?

I am this guy’s BIGGEST fan. No question.

I sometimes catch myself flipping back and forth between multiple Heather voices and personalities.

There’s the one I use when I’m coaching kids.

There’s another one I use on the phone with my parents, and another one for Ben’s parents.

And, there’s all different ones when I’m talking to other parents. This is hugely dependent on which parents we’re talking about: ones I know enjoy my colorful antics, ones I feel are judging me and gossiping about me when I’m not there, ones that love running into me because they find our conversations educational and inspiring, and ones that I feel are only talking to me to be polite and because their kid likes my kid a whole lot more than they like me.

Sometimes I think it’s a lot easier to just play the chameleon and adjust to the color I feel like fits the people I’m talking to best. It’s safe. You never hugely upset someone. You don’t risk saying something you’ll regret. And, you at least feel like you limit the amount of nasty chatter that will spin out of those interactions behind your back.

But, you know what? It’s EXHAUSTING. It’s a lot of work trying to figure out which color to go with, and filter all of the words and emotions that would, otherwise, naturally come out of me depending on who’s on the receiving end.

While it may seem like a lot less work conforming to what version of you other people would prefer, it’s actually more work trying to process all of that in the moment. And, whether you feel it or not, all of that ingenuity is a gross form of self disrespect that comes across loud and clear. You, and the people you’re talking to, may not be able to put it all into words…but, you’ll all feel it on some level.

And, you know what? If you’re doing the work in your own head, the real you will shine a whole lot brighter than the duller, less genuine version of you.

Wouldn’t it be so nice to just be ONE color? ONE version of you? Hear ONE voice speaking your words?

The key there, though, is doing the work. And, in my opinion, “the work” is the internal dialogue that happens all day, every day.

As coaches at CFNE, we always ask our members if the words they say to themselves in the middle of a workout are words they’d be proud to share with others…or, even more telling…would they use the same words when coaching their kids.

“You’re not that strong anymore.”

“Why are you so slow?”

“Ben thinks that girl is a better athlete than me.”

During COVID, I would start the kids with an intention practice. We’d put our hands in prayer position (we’re not at ALL religious, but hugely spiritual), move our hands from our forehead to our lips and finally to our heart. We’d say together,

“Think kind thoughts. Speak kind words. Be kind to my body.”

We would bow to each other, and finish with, “Namaste.”

I still finish every meditation and breath work session with this exact practice. It helps remind me of the person I want to be.

If people don’t like THAT version of me, I shouldn’t be willing to change my colors for them.