Semantics Matter
My ick words: sure, cheater, fair, and jealous.
I’ve been having thoughts.
I was an English major, so I use that as my explanation for why I get wrapped around the axle when people use certain words or phrases: “sure”, “cheater”, “fair”, and…my latest…drum roll, please…”jealous”.
When people use the word “sure” as a response to someone offering to do something for them, it can make it feel ungrateful. I always correct myself when I say “sure” by quickly following it up with, “Yes, please.”
I have brainwashed myself, and anyone that will listen, to assume people are trying their best. Maybe they’re not, maybe they’re being lazy, maybe they’re trying to take advantage of someone or a situation. But, maybe they’re not doing those things, too. Maybe there’s a side of their story that I’m unaware of that would change my opinion on whether they’re “cheating”.
I hear people, adults and kids the same, claiming that something’s “not fair”. It can be as small as how much candy one kid gets on Halloween over another, or as big as someone you love getting cancer. Regardless of the situation, I don’t believe it’s a fair vs. unfair thing. For the record, I also don’t believe in good luck. I believe both of those angles on life strip you of your power and make you feel like a victim. Situations can be hugely unfortunate, but I prefer to not think of it as a fairness issue.
My latest one, “jealous”, has more to do with the divide it creates between people that could, otherwise, be one of support and camaraderie (I cannot BELIEVE I just learned how to spell that word). In my opinion, there’s a difference between being jealous of someone and being motivated or inspired by someone. When I post something on Instagram and someone comments “jealous”, it feels to me at least like they think I’m trying to show off. When they comment that I inspire them to ________, it feels like I’ve done something positive to help someone who was getting off track or didn’t know how to get started down the right path.
I know it’s all semantics, but sometimes semantics make a difference…even if it’s a small difference, it matters.
Someone replying “jealous” is trying to make you feel good about what you have posted. It is a simple way for them to comment (in their mind) positively. Take it as that! Remember, you always want to see the good in people, so see it!
This is said good. I'm mean, well. I don't know...I have dyslexia - it's not fair, so I became a cheater, and was jealous of every smart kid.
But yeah, you said this good. Want me to share it?.... Sure.